


Outside Looking In

by g0bliin



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Exhibitionism, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Groping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, lots of drunken sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26184526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g0bliin/pseuds/g0bliin
Summary: Shane doesn't like how he and the new farm girl, Thea are getting close.Thea, on the other hand, is rather interested in the town drunkard.
Relationships: Emily & Female Player, Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's hard to get back into writing when you haven't in almost five months. Life sucks, but at least I have Stardew to keep me company. This is the result. Enjoy <3

She was far too short to be a farmer. 

Shane’s height was laughable to most guys, but when compared to this new girl, even he seemed like a giant. She raised the tip of her toes and leaned her body on the bar, grabbing the glass of beer with both hands. Three gulps and it was gone.

“Thanks, Emily,” the New Girl flashed a smile. One of her canines was snaggled, a little protruding fang that could very well pierce her tongue if she wasn’t careful. Perhaps it had in the past.

More gold was exchanged and a second beer was in her grasp. She made the decision to climb on top of the stool, drinking this glass much slower than the first. They made eye contact with each other for a brief moment before he turned away in discomfort.

There was something off about her eyes. They were far too green and intense, reminding him of a gremlin. Her appearance did not help, with wild, black hair that fluffed up despite being braided and pinned to her head. Her clothing was different from the girls he’d seen wear around Pelican Town and in Zuzu City. The overalls were old and stained, and the flannel shirt underneath was torn at the right sleeve, baggy and oversized.

But who was he to judge on some girl’s appearance when he was a slob seven days out of the week? Always wearing his JojaMart hoodie like it was a second skin? Shane took a long gulp of his beer before slinking further into the shadows of his spot. He’d rather be unseen than stared down at by New Girl. He’d rather be unseen by most, if he was being honest.

“Hey.”

He looked up. Speak of the Devil.

New Girl had moved away from the bar towards his usual spot, leaning one arm against the wood and holding her beer in the other. A bit of foam was left on her upper lip. Messy - in a cute sort of way. “Mind if I join you? Soon the circus will storm in and swarm all around me.”

He shrugged, glancing away to take in another gulp. “Don’t expect much conversation from me. I’m not much of a talker.”

“That’s fine. I didn’t come by for a conversation.” She twitched her lips into a small smirk. “Two people can talk with each other without exchanging a word.”

“I’ll probably leave before long,” he pulled his shirt collar. Was it getting warmer here? Usually he wasn’t flushed like this so early in the evening. “I got things to do.”

“Like drinking at home?”

He raised an eyebrow. “How do you know I’m going to do that?”

Her smirk grew wider. “I saw you at Pierre’s buying the last six-packs of the world’s shittiest beers. Right when _I_ was planning to buy one. You left that poor man out of stock.”

“Whatever, man. It’s good to support local business.” He rolled his eyes to conceal his embarrassment. “I don’t think farmers are supposed to be drinking so much.”

That made New Girl laugh. “I don’t think I’m much of a farmer.”

“Things have really been that shit?” Curiosity nibbled him.

She took a long sip of her beer as a pause, licking her upper lip. “You can call me idiotic , but I thought farming wasn’t going to be that hard. You plow dirt and sow seeds; easy enough for me. Turns out farming is a _lot_ of work. Nothing like a 9-5.” Letting out an exhausted sigh, she circled her finger on the rim of the glass. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to break even this season. I’ve fucked up too much.”

Shane shrugged ”Kind of your fault for not being prepared for the worst.”

“I suppose you’re right about that,” she replied quietly, still focused on her drink. For a moment, he saw a tinge of sadness. The care went away as soon as it came. Strangers meant nothing to him. Just because she was new doesn’t mean that he had to play nice like everyone else was doing.

Neither of them spoke thereafter, and New Girl finished up her drink right on cue. The rest of Pelican Town bombarded in. First came in the gang of three - Abigail, Sam, and Sebastian. Then Leah and Elliot. Lewis and Marnie soon followed, along with Willy and Clint. She perked up from the counter to chat with Lewis, leaving her empty glass and Shane behind.

She had this ability to make her way towards the exit while continuously getting stopped. He had to admit it was almost impressive. A quick conversation and she was a few steps closer, stopped again for a hello, and moved in this pattern until she waved a goodbye and left.

* * *

Shane saw her again two days later. She came to Stardrop Saloon in the midst of happy hour. A smile that didn’t reach her eyes beamed on her face as she said her “Hellos” and “How are you doings.” The townsfolk seemed to get used to her presence and didn’t want to hound her with a thousand questions anymore. It had dropped to at most a hundred.

By now he learned that her name was Thea Barton. She must’ve introduced herself already and he’d completely forgotten about it in a buzzed state. What a weird name for a weird girl.

He slouched against the wall, toying with his empty glass and feeling nothing - which was the absolute best feeling in the world. His cheeks were warm, and his vision blurred at the corners, but he could probably go for another drink. Today had been a particularly shit day at work. Apparently he still smelled like alcohol when he showed up and got yelled at by his manager. He luckily didn’t get fired, as nobody else in town was going to be eager to take over his spot at JojaMart.

Putting the glass on the counter, Shane huffed to himself. One or two more beers, and he’ll stumble home.

“Hey asshole. Can I buy you a drink?”

He looked up, glaring at Thea. She was up on the barstool closest to him, arms crossed as she peered down. The braids were let to hang loose, instead of pinned-up like last time. Her white shirt was still oversized and baggy, but the way her jeans tightened themselves along her curves... His eyes lingered there, anger momentarily forgotten. “What do you want? Leave me alone.”

“I’m just offering a friendly drink,” she shrugged, “But if you don’t want one I’ll have more to myself.”

He scoffed. “Don’t call me a fucking asshole, but sure, waste your money on me.”

“I didn’t call you a _fucking_ asshole, I only called you an _asshole._ Very important distinction.” Thea corrected him with a crooked grin, sliding some gold coins to Emily and raising her fingers up to silently ask for two glasses.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he mumbled. “Bribing me with alcohol isn’t going to make me your friend.”

She did not reply, only handing him his beer when it arrived. “You seem like you need one,” she said after.

“Then I’ll continue being an asshole until you leave me alone.”

“Good thing I like assholes. Drunk assholes are the best company.”

“Why’s that?” He raised an eyebrow, downing a third of his beer.

“Because,” she leaned forward, covering a side of her mouth with her hand to whisper, “They turn soft and begin to like you.” She sat back up with a giggle. Shane noticed how red her face had become, and it was certainly not due to farmwork. She was far too cheerful compared to the other night.

“Were you pregaming at your farm?” he asked.

“...Perhaps.” She laughed into her hand. His suspicions were confirmed.

“Well, aren’t you a bold one? And everyone considers _me_ the town drunk - _I am the town drunk_.” He mumbled the last part to himself.

“At least in Zuzu I could go do something after work. Here…” Her voice drifted off. “The silence unnerves me a bit. I think I’m homesick for the concrete jungle.”

Shane perked up. “No way! You’re from Zuzu too?”

“Yeah. Born and raised there until, well, now.”

“Man, I miss Zuzu,” he sighed. “If I had a chance, I might move back, but I dunno. Yoba, I don’t even remember the last time I’ve been back. Probably for a game, or something.”

“Zuzu had its perks. Compared to Pelican Town though, despite how small and crummy this town is, it at least has some life. You don’t feel completely alone. Why did you leave Zuzu City?”

“That’s a story for later.” Shane cut her off short. Nope. They weren’t going there. Ever. It was still a sore spot for him. He gulped down the rest of his beer in an attempt to flush out any negative memories that threatened to replay in his mind.

Best to forget it for now, until he was ready to deal with it. If such a day would come.

They ended up downing one more round of beer together until they were kicked out by Gus for laughing too hard at some idiotic joke Shane made about rabbits. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and vice-versa as they more or less kept each other steady. Stumbling, they managed to make it to the broken-down bus stop before colliding into the fence post.

Thea held on, laughing harder than before. “Shit, I’m going to get fucking splinters.”

Shane found himself lying down on the dirt path. “Not my fault, farmgirl.”

“Farmgirl? Farmgirl?! You really think I’m a farmer?” She cried out his remark.

He lifted his hands up. “The reasons you’re a farm girl. One: You live on a farm,” he counted on his fingers. “Two: You grow crops, no matter how shitty they turn out to be. You can grow a bunch of fuckin’ turnips or whatever. Three: You wear overalls. Four: Because I said so.”

“Shut uuuup, maaaaan,” she whined, floundering over and looking down at him. She placed a boot on his stomach, applying very light pressure.

“You’re really persistent.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

He sat up slightly, pushing her foot off his stomach. Squinting in the moonlight, he could tell that there was a footprint left in the middle of his shirt. “I guess I’m just surprised that anyone would be interested in talking with me.”

“I think I just relate to you more. We’re not like the rest of the folks here. We didn’t grow up in Pelican Town, we grew up in shitty apartments.” Thea kicked a nearby pebble to underscore her point.

“Matter of fact, I lived in a house _._ Not an apartment. Very important distinction,” his tone snarky.

“Damn, you can really see the stars out here,” her voice grew soft. She laid down beside him on the path, close enough to Shane that it caused him to swallow out of nervousness. “They’re so beautiful. I want to pluck one out of the sky and keep it for myself.”

No one, let alone a girl, had been this close to him in months. Even though he just had his arm around her minutes before, this was far different than some drunken gallivanting in town. Laughing off his growing anxiety, he put his arms behind his head, letting it rest on his palms. “You get used to them after a while. Wait until you see the Moonlight Jellies. Now that’s something really worth ogling at.”

“My grandfather told me about them when I was younger. I used to come visit the farm in the summer but I always had to leave right before they would show up. Did I tell you that I used to do that?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, I didn’t do it for very long. Only for a few years, before I stopped coming because of ridiculous family drama I’d rather not talk about,” she waves. “I’m not even sure on the details. Some kind of falling out, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry about your family.” His apology was sincere. He definitely had his share of family drama. Enough for a lifetime.

“It’s life. Nobody has a perfect family. Even here in bumfuck nowhere, everybody’s family is messed up.”

He remained silent, watching the stars dance around in circles, eyelids growing heavy. If he didn’t get up soon, he’d pass out on the ground and someone would find him in the morning and kick him awake. A flash darted across his eyes, jolting him out of his drowsiness. “Holy shit, I think that was a shooting star.”

Thea jerked up. “Oh Yoba! We gotta make a wish right now!”

“Fuck, I dunno what I want to wish for.” He groaned, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

She didn’t respond. All Shane could hear was incoherent whispering that he didn’t care enough to decipher. “Hope your wish was good, farmgirl.”

“It better come true, it was a damn good wish. What did you wish for?”

He paused, before responding with a lie. “You can’t tell people about your wish or it won’t come true.”

“Then I hope your wish is able to come true in the near future.”

“Thanks, I guess.” A warm, uncomfortably fuzzy feeling had settled in his stomach. He’d tolerate it for now until he was able to get away from Thea. Marnie must be worried that he wasn’t back by now. “Let’s get you home, farmgirl.”

He got up from the ground, dusting what he could off his cargo pants before offering a hand to Thea. She pulled herself up with such fierceness that it caused the both of them to stumble backwards, Shane’s back colliding against the fence. “Shit, Thea.” That was going to ache in the morning.

She was nestled against his chest, her arms huddled together. “You’re so warm…”

He did not like this situation at all. He helped her stand upright, her whole body swaying in place. “Let’s go home,” he repeated.

She led the way back to her farm, and to the farmhouse. It was a miracle she didn’t trip over anything, with all the stumbling and swaying she was doing the whole time. He watched her fumble with the keys before unlocking the door.

“Do you...do you want to come in?” She placed her hand on the door frame.

He was not able to tell if she was offering him a place for the night out of the kindness of her heart, or something else, but he rather not risk anything right now. Even if it was something, he’d be nothing more than a disappointment. “No,” Shane replied a little too blunt. “I, erm, gotta get back to Marnie’s. She's probably worried about where I am.”

Thea nodded her head, waving her hand. “So long, asshole o’ mine.”

“Yeah. You too.”

The door shut and locked behind her. He recalled that south of her farm, he would be able to reach home much faster than circling back through Pelican Town. He started making his way, tip-toeing across the field as if he was walking in a mine-field. Thea had mentioned that she cleared away most of the debris, but she hadn’t started this far down yet. So many stones and branches were scattered about.

Shane found Marnie standing in front of the door, her arms crossed as she scanned around, assumingly searching for him.

“I’m here. I’m fine,” he called from behind her. "Didn't get into too much trouble tonight."

She turned around, relief on her face. “Were you at Humble Farm?”

Nodding his head, he walked past her into the house. She followed him inside, turning off the front light. He didn’t know that was the name of Thea’s farm. Strange name.

“I was walking her home. Nothing more than that,” he explained, taking off his hoodie and folding it in his hands. His answer was sufficient enough for Marnie that she only nodded, and said a goodnight, heading into her bedroom.

He managed his way to his own room, rolling into bed with his boxers on. He’d be better off taking a shower now rather than in the morning, but exhaustion riddled his body.

Shane drifted off to sleep. The last coherent thought he had was of Thea’s ass in those jeans.


	2. Chapter 2

Thea found herself sitting at the docks by the beach, her feet hanging off the edge. A metal bucket sat next to her, half full of freshly-caught fish. Work was finished early for the first time in a while, and she had nothing else to do. Might as well fish and try to gain enough experience to confidently wield higher-quality fishing poles. The bamboo pole she was gifted by Willy was decent enough, but it wasn’t strong enough to catch the rarer types.

She was getting bites earlier, but it seemed that the fish had learned to not to come near her spot. Getting up, she let out a groan, stretching her arms outwards and tilting her head side to side. Her muscles were still tense after days of tilling the soil and sowing new batches of crops as the Summertime season began. The way her back slouched wasn’t helping the pain.

She was a day late, and made up for it by farming from dawn until dusk. Hopefully, the results would yield something better than the turnips did.

Shane was right about her becoming a professional turnip farmer. But turnips were easy. The time it took for them to grow in the Springtime was short, and by growing a bunch of them, she managed to make more than enough to plan ahead for the summer.

Picking up her fish bucket, she moved across the dock towards the opposite end, right by Willy’s shop. She settled down and resumed her position, casting the fishing line before she gazed into the horizon. It was slightly unnerving that the Gotoro Empire was across the Gem Sea - fairly close to Stardew Valley. If there was an invasion, it wouldn’t be hard to assume that troops would try to storm here.

Then again, Pelican didn’t really have much worth plundering. What would Gotoro do with a bunch of civilians and turnips?

Thea shrugged off the thought as her line began to tug. She reeled it in only to find herself face to face with a soggy newspaper. “Really? Again?”

Maybe it was a sign that she had finished enough for the day. The Fortune Teller did mention that the spirits were in a sour mood today. Her old self would have ignored her program on TV, but ever since the events at the community center transpired, and she became able to see Junimos, so Thea became a little more spiritually inclined.

She walked into Willy’s shop and came back out with some extra coin in her pocket. Just enough for a couple pints at the Stardrop Saloon. Her mood had raised, and she nearly skipped all the way there, but was stopped by a white sign that hung up on the front door:  
  
  
  


**Closed this evening due to unexpected maintenance.**

**Will be open tomorrow! Sorry folks.**

**Gus**

_Well_ , _shit_.

Her evening plans were trashed. Now Thea had to go home and drink alone, like a normal person.

It had become a weekly ritual to stop by the saloon for a glass since that night with Shane. There had not been a repeat of it, but they kept each other silent company. Small talk happened from time to time; nevertheless, nothing beyond that which would break this invisible boundary he seemed to have set up between them.

Did she do something to offend him? It was difficult to see past his steely demeanor. He could be tolerating her for a free beer now and then. A relationship that close might be worth it for somebody like him.

She started to walk back toward the farm when she noticed Shane coming up the road. He probably just got off of work at Joja. His eyes were blank, hands bundled in his hoodie pockets, his face the same stoic expression Thea wore when she worked at JojaCorp. It was a little amazing how working at different branches of Joja had the same result; you were completely dead inside by the time work was over.

Waving a hello, she waited until he was closer so that she could break the bad news to him.

“You’re kidding me, right?” He squinted at the white sign, walking over to it and then back to Thea. “That has… literally never happened before.”

“I know. It doesn’t have much effect on me as a newbie to town, but I can’t imagine how the rest of the town is. They’re probably flailing around like confused chickens.” She laughed dryly, Shane pursing his lips to hide his own laugh.

He gently kicked up dust with his foot. “I’m kind of pissed, to be honest. Today has been a particularly shit day, and I _really_ wanted to unwind.”

Hearing that made an idea pop into her head. She crossed her arms casually. “How desperate are you?”

“...What do you mean?”

“For a drink. Pierre’s out because _someone_ keeps buying all the shitty beer, and he won’t have anything decent beyond that. Pelican Town is practically dry.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“Well...” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t know why she was so nervous about asking Shane to come to the farm. It wasn’t that different from inviting any other guy or girl to her apartment in Zuzu. She bit down on her tongue and tried again. “I just happened to have a bottle of red wine sitting around. Uncorked. Good stuff supposedly.”

“I’m not much of a wine drinker,” his tone matching the slyness of her own. “Though I reckon anything sounds good at this point.”

“Great!”

The pair began walking back towards the farm side by side, both of their hands deep in their pockets. Thea stared ahead, sneaking glances at Shane and hoping he didn’t catch her.

“Soooo,” she sucked in air through her teeth. “You wanna tell me what happened at work?”

“Maybe when I’m less sober,” he answered abruptly.

“Was it really that bad?”

“Yes.”

She bit her tongue to hold back a snarky comment. Maybe he would tolerate them more later on.

They reached the farmhouse, where Thea had planted rows and rows of blueberries. A little further west, a patch of melons were growing, next to a small row of peppers. All the crops still had a few days until there would be something worthy to harvest.

For now, her focus would be on clearing up more of the property. She managed to clear enough space for her crops and some, but if she was planning to have a chicken coop and a silo built, she would definitely need to clear some extra space.

“You’ve been working hard. Much better than what I saw last time,” Shane said, covering his brow as he peered out.

“Planting tons of turnips will do that to ya. I think I’m finally getting the hang of this farming thing.” She took her keys out of her pocket, unlocking it and allowing him to enter first with a dramatic bow. “After you, good sir.”

He humored her with a thin smile, stopping in the middle of the farmhouse to survey his surroundings.

“It’s really not much. Tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom, but at least it’s furnished.” She noticed a pair of her undies lying on the floor and inwardly gasped, sweeping them under the bed with her foot. “And cozy.”

“What’s that?” He pointed at her bed.

She turned around to find her grey cat sleeping on her pillow in a neat ball. Marnie had knocked on her door one morning and practically given her the stray regardless of her even wanting it or not. It was strange having a pet for the first time, but it was nice to have somebody else on the farm. “That’s Caligula.”

“Ca-li-gu-la,” he enunciated every syllable. “For a cat.”

“What?! It’s a funny name!”

He cocked a smile. “You sure got a weird sense of humor, farmgirl.”

Thea shot him a deadly glare as she moved across the farmhouse towards some cabinets, standing up on a stool to reach the cupboard that held the wine, gently retrieving it from its place. Climbing back down, she grabbed a knife and stabbed the cook, twisting it around until she was able to pull it out with a satisfying _pop_.

“I don’t own any fancy wine glasses, so we’ll just have to drink from cups. Unless you like sharing.”

“That’s fine. I don’t really care about stuff like that.”

She poured him a decent portion, handing him the glass. He took it from her politely, tilting his head back as he had a sip. “Not bad. A little sweet for my taste, but better than nothing.”

“Shame.” She poured her own glass. “I prefer drier wine as well.”

He took a few, slow strides across the farmhouse, studying every minute detail. Thea hadn’t decorated it much. She left mostly everything as it was found when she moved in. The only new furniture was the stool she brought from her move and a potted plant that sat by the television.

Silence had begun to settle in, and she was not enjoying it. She hated awkward small talk; it didn’t do anything to diffuse the stillness. Rubbing the rim of her glass with her thumb, Thea took another drink. Along with the wine being sweet, it sure didn’t have much of a kick. What a disappointment. She was so preoccupied in her thoughts that she failed to notice Shane was _very_ near to her.

Nearly jumping back, she hid how startled she was with another sip. “Now that you have a drink, you wanna tell me what happened at work?”

He reached for the bottle, filling up his glass just a tad more. “I assume you met Morris. Black hair, weird face, wears nothing but black and a bow tie?”

She nodded. “Oh, that bastard! He’s such a creep.”

“I knocked over some stuff by accident and he’s docking my pay. Usually I wouldn’t care, but my hours have been cut. He keeps giving them to Sam. More time to myself, but I gotta pay rent.”

“Overworking that kid isn’t going to do much except cause more resentment. I’m sorry about that, Shane.”

His eyes lowered, staring off into the distance while he took a big gulp of wine. “It’s whatever. I’m not gonna find anywhere else to work in Pelican Town if I quit. Perks of being the town drunk, baby.”

“Have you heard about the coupon thing Morris did at Pierre’s? I cannot believe that sonofabitch had the audacity to pull that off.” Her words were spoken perhaps a bit too quickly, wanting to move away from the sensitive subject.

He rubbed the underside of his chin, the scratching sound coming off as oddly pleasant to Thea. It almost made her want to stroke his cheek and feel it scrape against her fingers. “Something to do with 50% off coupons? Yeah, I know. He’s been trying to shut down Pierre’s shop ever since JojaMart got built. It’s nothing but scheme after scheme. And I have to bear the brunt of it all when they fail.”

“It’s the main goal of the higher ups. Big bonus if they’re able to shut down competition. I worked in customer service, and I had to deal with a few phone calls. People would get upset with me about their local grocery shutting down, and they’d call me to yell about it.” She frowned. “Sad, but what the hell could I have done about it?”

“I can’t imagine how you felt seeing a JojaMart here when you were trying to escape them.”

“As long as I don’t walk towards that part of town, I can pretend that they don’t exist.” Thea went to take a sip but found her glass already empty. Pouring another, she went over to her bed to sit on the edge of the mattress. “You wanna watch the Queen of Sauce?

Caligula hopped off the bed and padded towards the maroon rug, resuming his curled up position. He had a look of contempt on his little cat face, annoyed that he was disturbed by two rude humans.

“Is there nothing else better on?”

“I’m lucky if I get three channels, dude. Service is terrible out here.”

Shane grabbed the wine bottle before he sat down on the bed, kicking off his shoes and scooting across so that he was by the wall. “I think we’re going to be cramped, if that’s fine with you.”

“No problem at all,” she found herself saying. In embarrassment, Thea coughed into her hand as she propped her legs up. “I’m tiny.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, me too.” She turned on the TV, the high voice and odd cadence of the Queen of Sauce filling the room.

The episode was a rerun of how to make a stir fry. It was the first episode she saw when she moved in. Although her voice was outpouring, the Queen of Sauce was oddly charming. Thea would find herself watching the show whenever the television was able to have enough signal to catch it.

A weather channel and a fortune-telling channel that either had vaguely good or bad news didn’t exactly provide worthy entertainment.

She supposed that it was good to be away from staring at a screen. She hadn’t been on her cell phone much since her arrival. Nobody called or sent text messages other than her dad with his weekly call. She deleted most of her social media other than BookNook. No one bothered her there either.

The stir-fry episode had ended, and a brand new episode that Thea hadn’t seen grabbed her attention.

“ _This week's dish is...Trout Soup! There's something about fresh-caught trout that just gets me buzzing! Maybe it's the subtle taste of the river. At any rate, I've got a wonderful trout soup recipe to share with you today_ …”

She grabbed a notepad and pen that was placed on her nightstand, sat down her glass and became incredibly focused on the Queen of Sauce, writing down the ingredients and what she would need to make it.

“My kitchen isn’t that large though…” she mumbled, setting the pad down and crossing her arms.

She turned her head towards Shane, who was all but forgotten in that scene. His eyes were wide with confusion. “Welcome back to reality, farmgirl.”

“Ah, shit. Sorry. Erm, I get really excited when there’s an episode I haven’t seen,” she glanced downwards, hiding her embarrassment once again. “I like to cook new stuff.”

“Glad to see you enthused about something.” Shane stretched out his arm, wrapping his right one loosely around Thea. “I have my own recipe for pepper poppers, if you’re interested in learning how to make them.”

“Really now?” She looked at his arm, then back at him. 

“But I don’t give it out to anybody. Oh, no, this recipe is top secret.” He moved closer to her. Their bodies were now touching, now very much cramped together. “I have to know that you’ll promise me to keep to yourself, and _only_ yourself.”

“I promise.”

“All I need you to do is answer me one question.” He stood up, leaning down over her to pin Thea to the bed by her shoulders. “And you gotta be honest.”

She only nodded her head. If she had spoken, no doubt her voice would have been softer than the Hat Mouse.

“You didn’t invite me out here just to drink wine and watch cooking shows, did you?”

Her heart fluttered at his words. Thea could not recall the last time she had been seduced by someone. The attempts at romance she had in the past failed, and dwindled down to a couple of dry one-night stands when she needed to scratch that itch. Now her heart was racing like a teenage girl, falling over the clumsy flirts of her high school crush.

“Of course not.” Her words ignited Shane.

He bent down to kiss her hungrily, the taste of sweet wine on her tongue. She returned with a kiss to match his eagerness, bringing his head down by stroking the back of it. His hair felt slightly greasy, but she didn’t mind. Breaking the kiss, he moved his lips down, below her chin to the swell of her throat, planting a kiss there.

His teeth grazed around her neck until he stopped at the crook, sinking his teeth down and sucking hard at the skin. She cried out as she winced, making herself remain still by digging her nails into his back. Just when she had enough of the pain, he pulled back, kissing the now-reddening spot.

She eased him out of his hoodie as he nearly tore the buttons off of her shirt. Both articles of clothing dropped to the floor ungracefully. Shane grew hesitant before taking off his green polo, revealing the hair and beer gut he had underneath. Thea found herself running her fingers through the hair, following the happy trail down towards his pants. His hard-on protruded tented his cargo pants.

She reached towards the zipper when he grabbed her wrist. “No,” he barked, then softened his tone when he caused her to flinch at his words. “Uhm - sorry about that. I’m not exactly ready yet. It’s been... a long time since I’ve messed around with someone.”

“It’s okay,” She went to cup his cheek, a bit giddy that she was able to stroke his stubble. “I haven’t done this for a while either. We can go slow.”

“Let me play around with you first.” He glanced at her bra.

“Are you sure?”

He did not respond. He slid his hand underneath her back to unhook her bra, pushing it upwards to squeeze on a bare breast half-heartedly. He tried again, but stopped, getting off of Thea. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be doing this with someone like me.”

“Wha - what do you mean, Shane?” She blinked, watching him grab his polo.

“There are plenty of people in town you can fuck, but I’m not one of them.” His voice shook, pulling the polo over his body. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry - I can’t.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to do or say. All Thea was able to do was watch him rush towards the door, as if she was that terrible to be around.

“I’m sorry if I did something wrong, Shane. If I pushed you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, then I am sorry. We don’t have to do anything like that,” she bit her lip to hold back unwanted tears. “Please, don’t go.”

It was harder than she thought to say the last words aloud. And when she was met with silence, it only made her chest tighten uncomfortably.

He grimaced, hitting his head against the doorframe. Maybe he would stay. There was nothing wrong with only being friends, rather than friends with benefits. Instead, he gave her a long, pitiful look as another apology before opening the door and leaving her alone. She heard his footsteps on the wooden steps pause, then wander south towards Marnie’s ranch.

Thea wiped away a tear - it was stupid to cry about this. He said he didn’t want to fuck, and that was that.

Nothing more, nothing less.

She turned up the television volume to unbearably high levels, drowning the entire farmhouse (perhaps the entire town) with shrill lines from the Queen of Sauce. The silence was too much for her to handle. At least she could finish the bottle of wine on her own.

 _Positive thoughts_ , _remember doing that_?

Thea downed the remaining wine with a speed she did not know she had. A satisfying smack and overwhelming buzz soothed what awful emotions bubbled within. Tossing the bottle to the floor, it landed with a thud, startling Caligula.

“Sorry.”

She noticed a familiar blue garb on the floor and realized that the dumbass had forgotten his Joja hoodie. Shit, now she had to return it to him. Or wait for him to remember that she had it to come collect it.

Nah. It would be less awkward if she brought it by the ranch when she had free time. Maybe make up some shitty excuse on why she had his hoodie.

Thea picked it up from the floor, bundling it in her arms before taking a deep inhale of it. It smelled musty and - shockingly - like beer. Frankly, it needed a good wash; it was disgusting.

Still, there was something oddly refreshing about the hoodie. She liked that it reeked of sweat and grime instead of sandalwood and pine.

Yoba, she needed to stop being such a fucking weirdo.

“Asshole.” Thea muttered as she slid her arms into the sleeves of the hoodie, zipping it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip shane


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!!! here is a present for waiting so long. who knows when I’ll upload next lmao.

Shane ran.

He ran and ran and ran. 

His body struggled and his lungs wheezed with every breath he sucked in. He didn’t even know why he was running, and wanted to stop so badly, to turn back to the farm and apologize, but the panic and anxiety kept him going. Thea’s disappointed look was a permanent scar in his mind. Another sad face to haunt him. 

It was too late now to turn back and apologize. To do it _right_ and speak out. The act had been committed. The deed was done. And once again he was left in this dark hole, picking up all the broken pieces of a shattered self. 

His foot hooked on a fallen branch and he stumbled over, pain shooting through his body. He tried to get up...but he just couldn’t muster the will. The adrenaline he had moments ago had vanished into the night. It ran away all the way back to Thea’s house. 

Now he was nothing more than a pathetic man unable to lift himself up from the dirt. 

It’s what he deserved. 

* * *

  
The next day he found his JojaMart jacket on the doorstep in a paper bag, faintly smelling of dirt and sunscreen. A couple strands of cat hair clung onto the fabric. He pulled it out of the bag, slid his arms through the sleeves, and pretended it had never left his possession. Hugging himself he stared ahead. Thinking about...nothing really.

Summer was nothing more than a drunken blur. Shane hadn’t noticed Fall had approached until he noticed the dead leaves crunched beneath his sneakers. Life had resumed to normal, a dreadful, repetitive normal that had become a disguised layer of purgatory, nevertheless, the layer was still his normal. 

He woke up. Drank if there were droplets left in bottles and cans. He went to work if he remembered and got yelled at once he showed up. He snuck in a drink in the break room. He left work for the saloon. Drank until he buried all sense and self; a duty he assigned himself to for the rest of his natural life. They must be sealed away, kept tight in fear of. He always managed to fumble his way back home from the saloon, ignoring Marnie’s awful awful stares of disappointment, always careful by avoiding her eyes. 

Thea avoided him altogether after what occurred. Shane didn’t blame her. She now rarely stopped by the saloon and when Thea did come, she only talked to Emily and sat by herself with a single mug of coffee. She left after finishing her drink, nodding a farewell to Emily. Sometimes their eyes would meet, and he was full of liquid courage to approach her, at least to apologize for what he had done, but her cold, witchy eyes would freeze him in place, a smile that told him: _Back off._

The worst of it was Jas. His goddaughter was wise beyond her young age, an intelligent little squirt that was going to leave this town someday to do something noble. She knew that he was broken deep inside, yet she would hide the pity in her eyes by masking it with excitement of a drawing or a lesson that she learned in school. 

“We’ll go to the beach tomorrow,” he always said when he helped with her homework. Both of them knew it was a lie. 

He began to resent mornings. They were a sign that he didn’t die in his sleep from his liver exploding or choking on his own vomit. If his own body killed him, then it would save Shane the trouble of having the conscious choice to do it himself. 

Sometimes he would dream of that night. The events would play out the same, every detail crisp and heightened by an iridescent glow. He’d run out into darkness, running and running and running until he fell into water. Every fiber of him screamed to swim up to the light, take in a gasp of air, to live once more. But he would ignore the cries. He would sink into an abyss, waking up when the last bubble drifted up towards the surface. Nothing would remain. 

A knock had drawn him from drowsiness, jerking him wide awake. It was not the thudding Marnie used to do to get him up before she gave up, but a polite, shy knock. Dragging his hand down his face, he wobbled over to the door and opened it. 

Jas was standing there. Her hands fumbled together in a rare nervousness Shane had not seen since he picked her up from her parent’s house. 

“You’re up bright and’ early.” He leaned against the door frame, flashing the kid a thin smile. “What’s troubling you?”

“Uhmm….I wanted to ask you something, Uncle Shane.” 

“Go on.” 

She squeezed her hands. “So, next week is the fair. Vincent is gonna be there, and Ms. Penny. Auntie Marnie said that she wouldn’t be able to take me the whole time, but I really, _really_ want to go the whole day.” 

Inwardly he was simultaneously groaning and shocked that the Stardew Valley Fair was that close. “What’s the problem then, kiddo? You can go with Ms. Penny and Vincent.” 

“But I don’t want to go with them!” Her voice lowered. “I want to go with you Uncle Shane.”

He scratched behind his head, letting out a sigh. “Listen, kiddo. I’m not sure if I have the day off…”

“Please Uncle Shane! I want to go with you!” Jas was on the brink of tears, her chin wobbling as she held them back. He sighed once more, not sure of what to say. Nobody would want him around the fair. They’d only think he was there to get a free drink . A leech upon resources. 

He especially didn’t want to run into Thea. There was a special contest for farmers to display the best of the best, and it was a high chance that she would show up. Farmers from towns over would come to try their luck at first price. 

Shane shrugged. “Let me call my boss and I’ll try to get off. Not a guarantee yet, so don’t get too excited.”

Her eyes still lit up with excitement. She rushed towards him, giving him a hug. “Thank you Uncle Shane!” 

Part of him felt uncomfortable. He didn’t deserve to be hugged by his goddaughter. His words were hollow as when he promised to take her to the beach. The end result would be the same, no matter how much he wanted to change it. 

Fucking hell. He was so hopeless. 

* * *

  
The Stardew Valley Fair was overtly boisterous. His senses were overloaded with familiar sights and sounds. Tourists outnumbered the locals, and he could easily blend into the crowd if needed. Strangers didn’t know his reputation.

He more or less was dragged around the town square by Jas, guiding him to each stall and chiding him to play the games with her. He was pulled to the Smashing Stone stall, barely able to have a grip on the hammer. The weight caused his arms to wobble like wet noodles. Strength was not his fortier. 

“Jas, these kind of games are rigged. I’m not going to be able to hit the bell at all,” he mumbled to avoid the clerk overhearing him. 

His goddaughter jumped in place. “I believe in you, Uncle Shane! You always carry around a bunch of chickens!”

“Chickens don’t weigh much.” He spoke lower. Raising the hammer above his body, he was prepared to bring the weight down on the button when a familiar figure darted through the crowd. 

That shade of hair, the worn clothing - the height. Only one person in town looked like that.

Shane was so off guard by Thea’s sudden appearance that he missed where he was supposed to hit entirely, hitting the cobblestone instead. The shock made his arms tremble, forcing him to drop the hammer entirely. Embarrassment crashed into him like a fallen star from this display of weakness. Swallowing what little pride he had left, Shane grabbed Jas’ hand and pulled her away from the stand. 

“Uh, you hungry? Let’s get something to eat.” Yeah, that’ll be a good excuse to get away. Didn’t hurt that he was feeling a bit peckish. Sitting Jas down at a picnic table, he rushed to a hotdog stand, stealing glimpses over his shoulder. 

One glance he saw her bandaged face, hair in a ponytail this time. Another glance, gauze wrapped around her arms. He was unable to take a third look. The cashier had shoved two hotdogs in his face, hemming loudly to grab his attention. Mumbling a sorry, he took the hotdogs over to Jas, handing her one of them. 

While Jas ate, he just held the hotdog in his sweaty hands, unable to move, speak, stitch together a cohesive thought. 

If Shane was a better man, he would have gotten up from the bench and walked over with a perfect apology. Instead, he remained still, studying the corners of her lips reveal that snaggletooth canine that drove him wild. 

That is how it would be, he supposed. Eventually the awkwardness would subside. Maybe, in the future, maybe he’d be able to make small talk. Ask her about her day, what she’s growing, if she needed any help – 

No. He bit into the hotdog. Nah, none of that shit was going to happen. A pathetic little day dream. 

Jas wasn’t talkative. She ate her hotdog quietly like her uncle did, watching the excitement of the fair around them. Her head turned and eyes lit up when she saw Vincent in the distance with his family. 

“Uncle Shane! Uncle Shane! Can I go play with Vincent for a bit?” She asked, already getting up with her half-eaten hotdog in hand. 

Shane paused, wondering if he was giving off a weird vibe, or Jas somehow knew that he wanted to be alone. Or she was just a kid wanting to play with her best friend. “Only for a bit. You said that you’d hang out with me all day at the Fair, remember?”

“I know…” She began to slide back down on the bench, but he held out his arm preventing her. 

“Go on,” he shot her a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

Jas was off like a rocket, not looking behind her. 

He was alone. Again. Though he didn’t care about being alone. He was about to get up himself and wander around the Fair. Maybe clear his head and to not be so much of a creep. The hotdog tasted like ash anyway. 

Tossing it into the trash, he was about to wander the stalls when he turned around and saw...Thea. Her hands held two red solo cups of bubbling sodapop. 

His chest tightened, mouth running dry. A thousand thoughts spun his head in circles asking the same questions in a thousand different ways. This...this didn’t happen in real life. He wasn’t supposed to see the girl again after the giant fuck up. She rendered him speechless and Shane hated that. He didn’t deserve this. He _didn’t._

“Are you here with Jas?” She took the initiative while he mustered the will to speak.  
  
“Yeah.” He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He crossed them, uncrossed them. Rubbed the back of his head and motioned over to his right. “She’s hanging out with Vincent. You know how they are.” 

“You can never separate them for too long.” 

“Yeah…”

More awkward silence. He hated it. He hated that he just couldn’t fucking man up and speak like a proper human being instead of the doormat he always was. Taking the cup, he nodded a thanks and took a sip. A part of him was disappointed that the soda didn’t have a drop of alcohol. It would’ve been like her to do something like that. 

“Thanks.” He said while raising the cup to take another sip.

“No problem.”

“Feel like I should have brought something to you. Considering that you aren’t really in…” His voice trailed off. 

“I look like shit.” She laughed dryly, and finally having a glimpse of that snaggletooth made his heart flip. “It doesn’t look as bad as it feels.”

“Did you get jumped in the mines by something? I’ve never been down there - too fucking chicken, but I hear stories about the monsters. The skeletons, the ghosts, the cave flies.”  
  
“They’re all fine once you know how to fight them. The thing is - I don’t know what got me. My hand was already messed up so I was heading home. It was getting late and I really didn’t want to pass out in the mines. I was able to climb up the ladder when something just wacked me. Hard.”

“Sounds like whatever hit you it doesn’t like you much.” 

She laughed again, her lips tipped upwards. “Yeah, I go down and kill their buddies all the time. No wonder I got jumped.” 

He joined in with her laughter, rubbing a hand behind his neck. Them talking felt so normal, picking their relationship right back up where it was. Like nothing had ever happened. Like he didn’t fuck it up. 

Shane took in a deep breath. “Thea.” 

“Yes, Shane?” 

“I...I want to apologize. I know it’s been _months_ , and you’re probably over it, and this is so fucking stupid. But, I’m sorry. I was scared - terrified even, that something like that was going to happen. It just freaked me out. I acted badly. I’m sorry.” He stared down at his feet, almost too scared to see her eyes. Something kept his head still, focused on the woman in front of him. His breathing slowed, almost holding his breath as he waited for her response. 

She scoffed, still grinning and may have been in as much disbelief as he was. “I don’t even know what to say. I thought about what to say before. I had _something_. And I understand. Sometimes I can be a little forward — .” 

“No! You were fine. I promise that it’s all on me.” 

Thea held out her hand. “Friends again?”

He shook it. “If you want to be.” 

“Of course!” Her voice was soft, a hint of scolding. Like he was being ridiculous to ask that sort of thing right after. Still, his doubts held him back. There was always a catch to these kinds of situations. Some kind of consequence from being alive, he guessed. 

Life was not fair to him, even in the good times. 

A flash of purple clashed into his legs and he looked down to see Jas. “See! Told you I wouldn’t be long.” 

“So you did, kiddo. So you did.” 

Marnie approached the three of them, glancing at the cup in Shane’s hand - more than likely checking if he was consuming alcohol - then frowned at Thea. 

“Oh you poor dear! I didn’t realize how hurt you were.” 

Thea shrugged. “I admit that I am pretty sore ma’am, but Dr. Harvey did a great job patching me up.” 

“That is good to hear. Still, if you need some extra help around the farm, please feel free to give me a call and I’ll send Shane up.” Marnie squeezed Thea’s unbanaged hand. “We are neighbors.” 

“Yes, we are neighbors,” her eyes darted at Shane then back at Marnie. It happened so fast he didn’t believe she actually looked at him that way. “Thank you. I truly appreciate your kindness, ma’am.” 

Marnie let out a sigh. “Thea! I told you to call me Marnie a dozen times now.” 

“Proper manners are a hard habit to break when they’ve been hammered into you.” 

Shane quietly sipped on his soda, watching this exchange. His jacket was tugged on and he peered down at Jas. 

“Can I have a sip of your drink?” 

“Yeah no problem.” He said, finding himself talking straight at Marnie who had once again shot him a glare. “It’s just soda.” 

The tension that had been swirling quickly dissipated as he handed Jas his cup. However the hurt he felt lingered on. The accusing stare was enough to send him over. 

Fuck it. He _wished_ there was something he could put in his drink. 

If Marnie wanted to believe he was nothing more than a drunk, then so be it. Let’s prove her right. 

Thea acted like nothing was wrong. Her smile was pleasant as ever and she even spoke. “Don’t give her too much or she’ll have a sugar rush.” 

“A little sugar never killed anybody.” He shrugged. There was more he was going to say but was interrupted by a shrill whistle. Thea’s head jerked around so fast he thought he heard his crack. 

“Judging must be completed. Wonder who won.” 

“Oh I think we’re about to find out.” Marnie took Jas’ hand and began walking towards the grange displays. She stopped, smiling at Thea. “May the best grange display win.” 

She nodded politely. “Good luck.” 

Shane followed Thea into the growing crowd, finding himself suffocated as he was stuffed shoulder to shoulder. Everyone was eager to know who the winner was. 

Along with Thea and Marnie, Pierre and Willy had their own stalls. He didn’t know much about the quality of the various items displayed, but even he could tell everyone brought the best of the best. This part of the fair was always competitive and the arrival of Thea only made the stakes higher. 

An array of color glinted, bribing his attention towards her stall. In the center of the display, a prismatic shard was proudly placed in the center. That must have been why she was visiting the mines so often. Shane almost wanted to shake some sense into her. 

Being a fucking idiot and getting the shit beaten out of you by monsters wasn’t worth winning a stupid contest. He almost lost himself in his thoughts when Mayor Lewis declared the winning and the crowd began to cheer. 

He was lost until he saw the mayor shaking his hand with none other than Pierre. Thea had stuffed her hands in her pockets, watching the two wistfully. Not sure if he should approach her, Shane stayed in the crowd, finishing the rest of his soda. 

Comforting others wasn’t his thing. There was some way he’d screw it up and make them feel worse. Still he waited, letting the crowd disappear until there were very few people left. Swallowing, he approached Thea. 

“Better luck next time, right?” 

She looked off into the distance, her mind somewhere far from Pelican Town. “Second place ain’t so bad. Just need better produce and I’ll win next year for sure.” 

He gently patted her shoulder and said the first thing that came to mind. 

“Lemme buy you a drink.” 

* * *

  
“ – So I gave ‘em the finger and then I left the hellhole and never came back. Not much else to it.” Thea handed the bottle to Shane and he took it with a laugh. 

Getting drunk by yourself was alright. Getting drunk with a cute girl? Someone like Thea? Hell, Shane didn’t deserve this second chance but fuck it if he was going to let it slip from his clumpsy fingers again. 

The fair had ended a few hours prior and they found themselves sitting in the bushes against the Saloon. What remained of his paycheck was spent on a decent bottle of whiskey. He had no reason to save his money. 

“Wish I had the guts to restart my life.” He mumbled, careful not to steal too much. One bottle between them was not enough. At least for him. Thea seemed fine and dandy.

Frankly, Shane wanted more. One more bottle of something to continue riding this train of happiness. 

Pierre wouldn’t sell to them like this. He was already wary selling the one bottle. Neither would Gus. It was a miracle nobody in the saloon overheard them shrieking and cackling like banshees. 

Her head rested on his shoulder, her gaze towards the stars she seemed to love so much. He hesitated, then wrapped an arm around her shoulder. 

“Do you still want to pluck them out?” 

She tilted her head up. “Pluck what out?”

“The stars. Remember, farmgirl?” Shane found himself remembering their first real night together. For something like _that_ happening in recent times, he couldn’t believe it. Seemed like that night was ages ago. 

She grabbed the bottle back, the brown paper bag crinkling. “I am a little fool of blood and bones, I suppose.” 

He shook his head. “Sure you are, farmgirl.” 

“I wanted to be a _poet._ ”

How she blurted her words out, the forcefulness caught Shane off guard. It sliced through the chilled air and rose color in her cheeks. The determination had the same vibe when Jas would proudly declare something out of the blue. A childhood dream gone.

“No shit?”

“Yeah,” she sighed heavily. “I’d write for hours and hours and hours. Then one day I stopped. Nothing happened. I just woke up and just...didn’t.” 

“Tell me a poem.” He hastily stole the bottle back. Perhaps it was best he finished it off. Downers were always difficult to deal with - helped since he was that kind of drunk. 

Thea sucked in air through her teeth, shaking her head. “I don’t have one.” 

“Sure ya do! Steal one from Elliot if you have to. Hell, I’ll make one up right now.” 

“Please do. Entertain me ‘O Enlightened One.” 

Was Shane supposed to get that reference? He was too stupid to know, so he took it as merely as drunken nonsense. Much like the poem he was about to say. 

Clearing his throat he stood up, bowing before standing up straight. Smugness radiated his wolfish grin. 

“Roses are red, violet are blue. Hey farmgirl, I think you’re pretty cool.” 

Thea whistled, clapping her hands as if he had recited the most eloquent poetry in literature. 

They stared at each other. Both at a loss of words, unsure of what to do next. Part of Shane knew however. The icky one, kept tightly away from the sunlight, part of him he almost despised. It came up at her farmhouse for a moment before it was tucked back in. No matter how he repressed it, it always came back up. Fuck, when did his breathing get so heavy?  
  
His arm outstretched, he lifted Thea from the ground, cornering her against the brick wall by trapping her between his hands. The bottle was dropped to the ground (thankfully not shattering and spilling drink). His lips were pressed against hers before he had the chance to hesitate. And to his horror, she kissed him back.  
  
“We really are back to doing this again, are we?” She mumbled into his polo, not looking up at him.  
  
Smoothing her hair, his nod was tight. “I think so. Do you still want me, Thea?” 

“I’ve missed you, asshole.” She yanked his polo collar and kissed him again. The kiss was desperate, longing even. It baffled him to even think someone actually yearned for his presence, welcomed his drunken stupor in with warmth. Thea deserved better. Much better than this slimebag. 

Yet Shane couldn’t help but be selfish in the fact that he had affection. Someone willing to get drunk and kiss and if he politely asked, sleep with him. Later he’d worry over if he was taking advantage of someone who knew so little of him, the capability of destruction he had. 

But for now, he wouldn’t hold back. Those were tomorrow’s problems. 

They made out for some time before he snaked his hand up her shirt. For someone who wanted to be bold in his redemption, he certainly wasn’t trying very hard. 

His hand found its way under her bra and smoothed over her breast. She unhooked her bra, wriggling out of it and letting it drop down next to the bottle. His head under her shirt now, he kissed her. Worshipped her soft skin with gentle pecks and love bites. They trailed between her breasts right down to the pudge of her tummy. His teeth left red lines as he scraped them across her stomach, encouraged by the whines Thea tried to restrain. 

Shane blinked and found that she flipped herself around and ass up. He almost knew what to do at this point. He lifted up her shirt, showing off her bare skin in the night air.

The light that Gus always kept on in front of the saloon highlighted the arch of Thea’s back, prompting Shane to ghost his finger down her spine. He reeled from her out of breath protesting, finding it satisfying to have caused such a reaction from her. 

Fuck, he still had it. He was gooood. 

One hand was on her jeans and the other made its way to her hair, gripping the ponytail. Tight, but not tight enough to really hurt her. His erection almost buried itself between her legs. 

“Thea,” he leaned in close crooning in her ear. “Theaaaaaaa.”

 _“Shane!”_ She gasped, pushing her hips across the front of his pants. “ ‘m fuckin’ ticklish.” 

“Don’t fuckin’ care if you are ticklish.” 

“Well I do!” 

Her hips grinded against him again and he pulled just a little more harder on her ponytail in response. “You really want me, farmgirl?” The trickle of doubt was still present, unable to leave in a moment like this.  
  
“ _Yes_ _._ Just don’t tickle me.”  
  
In a swift motion he yanked down her jeans and panties, pretending not to be proud of the wet spot that had formed on them. His fingers ghosted her skin once more. 

Fuck, he wanted to. Fuck, he was so scared. Things were going to be different, too strange. Change terrified Shane and here he was, about to change something in his life for the first time in a long time. If something happened between them again, ignoring it wouldn’t be enough. Pelican Town was too small to contain something like a breakup.  
  
Letting go of her ponytail, he unzipped his pants, freeing his cock with a sigh. She didn’t need much preparation, but to tease her a bit, he rubbed himself between her lips, his length covered in her juices. She let out these light, flighty gasps that drove him crazy. 

Shane positioned himself and carefully entered her. She was so warm inside. So warm that he was going to fucking melt into a puddle. He panted, resting a hand on his head to compose himself. 

He didn’t deserve this.  
  
He ignored the thoughts, jutting a thrust in her. Another one. His hand moved to hips, his palms too rough. 

Was this a dream? His nails dug into her skin. He did not want to do that, it just felt good. He’d be better if he was a bit more sober. Too sloppy, too sloppy, too sloppy. 

When did he close his eyes? 

Shane opened them. Oh Yoba.

Sometime he should take her out on a nice date. Make their relationship more charming and not just wanting to fuck. Not here though, someplace nice out in Zuzu City. A restaurant. Or a gridball game. Dates like that are always fun.  
  
He struggled to continue his thrusts, disappointed that he was getting much closer. If he could he’d do this up until the sun rose. He wasn’t too surprised that this would be somewhat of a failure, but he tried to soothe his feelings by remembering he hadn’t had sex in a looong time. His right hand was his partner for numerous years. 

Thea was clutched all around him. His fingers managed to find her clit and he began to stroke idly. 

“Shane…” Her voice whined in a way that made his heart flip. “Shane you’re gonna make me – _fuck – !_.” 

He would have replied but after one final thrust, he pulled himself out of her, haphazard loops landing on her back and ass. What prevented him from passing out was the cries of Thea. His fingers continued to stroke until he coaxed her into orgasm, her body shuddering before falling on her knees. 

Shane followed suit, grateful for the chilly night to cool down his heated body. He closed his eyes for a moment, listening to the rustling and heavy breaths of Thea cleaning herself up. He wanted to hold her hand. The desire suddenly came up. He just...really wanted to just hold her hand. Stroke her bandage covered knuckles.

He tipped his head up, arm outstretched. The stars were wonderful tonight. Her hand in his reassured him enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i don't REALLY tend to post another chapter so soon. i'm a slug after i get done with one chapter and then tend to not write for a million years lol. 
> 
> admittedly, i've been writing a lot for this fic. maybe the writing bug got me, or just hyper-fixation. maybe it's just the fact that i'm really trying to not let word count affect me??? i tend to focus on that a LOT, because i often feel that there can always be more. i can always add more and increase the length because what i have written so far is not enough!!!! i am a bad author for not writing 12k per chapter!!!
> 
> with this, i just am able to write...and not be bothered? i allow myself the grace to just write and not care at all. (okay, i care a LITTLE BIT. maybe i'll do a long chapter sometime just to get it out.)
> 
> i dunno, but i had this chapter finished not long after the third. may even have another chapter though i'll make you guys wait for that one a little longer :^)) i am a cruel author.
> 
> thank you all for the comments and kudos and bookmarks. i'm shocked that a silly fic i started on a whim is receiving attention. it's always so nice to read your comments, that's my favorite bit about writing fanfic tbh. this side of the fandom is so cozy and warm. shocking, as the game is cozy lmfao. 
> 
> and yes!!!! this chapter is inspired by the two-heart event. one of my favorite events you can have in stardew. reality just strikes you. 
> 
> see you guys the next chapter.

Thea fumbled with the edge of the wool cloth, half-listening to Emily’s ramblings about what nonsense Clint was up to, and half zoning out, her mind wandering over to that night at the Saloon, the Farm. There was a lot happening in her life at once. She had been invited over by the waitress to talk but honestly, she didn’t know what to say.

One thing about small towns is that they always had a nose for change. Soon as someone did something _slightly_ different than the norm, they all just seemed to know. And Emily was no exception.

“Thinking about Shane?” Emily had a kind smile when she asked this.

Thea shook her head, letting out a dry laugh. “Yoba, does everyone seem to know about us?” A week had passed since the fair… and their little “rendezvous.” She bit down on her tongue to hold back saying “ _We aren’t even a couple_.”

Emily huffed, putting her hands on her hips like a scolding mother. “There was a bra found by the saloon the day after the Fair.”

“And?” She pretended to be aloof, knowing full well that it was her bra. 

“And? _And?!”_

Thea laughed, avoiding her friend’s gaze. Her face was flushed red as a tomato. It was too late to pretend like it wasn’t hers. 

“See! I knew it was yours!” 

Her drunken self prioritized taking the whiskey bottle over her bra. She couldn’t recall what had happened to it. They must have finished it off on the walk back to her farm where she woke up with a terrible hangover and was terribly sore. Thea scratched her bandage, trying hard to ignore how itchy her wound was. “Maybe I took it off because my boobs were hurting and forgot about it.”

Emily scoffed. “If you need better bras you can just ask me to sew you some. Just bring me wool and a little gold.” 

Thea perked up. Clothes in Pelican Town were a rarity. There was the Hat Mouse, but he was the Hat Mouse, not the Blouse Mouse. She knew that JojaMart had t-shirts from when she visited Shane but she wasn’t going to waste her gold on cheap stuff. Not bringing many of her own when she moved in, she had resorted to wearing her grandfather’s old clothing. Most of her old clothing was office attire when she worked at Joja Corp and anything that reminded her of that awful place was given away.

Her grandfather’s clothing were big on her and to keep them out of the way she would pin them to fit. Most of his things were sold off when he passed away, but not his clothes. They were stored away in a chest covered in dust and faintly smelling of tobacco and pomegranates. It was a weird way to connect back with him, wearing his clothing. A way to say that she really did care about the guy. Her mind began to wander about the past, a memory of family drama coming right up to the forefront, but she stopped it.

Thea returned back to reality. “No shit? Really?” Even though she mentally skipped out on the conversation, she couldn’t believe the sincerity of Emily’s proposition. No one was this kind.

“Yeah! I usually sew clothing pieces but I’m sure undergarments wouldn’t be hard.” 

Thea clasped her hands in prayer. “Thank you. So much. You are a blessing from Yoba.” 

“Oh stop it! You’re so embarrassing.” Emily waved her away. 

“I will slaughter all the mummies in Stardew Valley to provide all the cloth you need. I will make them extinct from the Earth..” 

“You’re fine, Thea! This is perfect for now,” she motioned to the bolt placed on the table. “I have some leftovers as well I can use. However since I am crafting something out of my usual expertise…”

“You want to know about Shane and I?” She finished the sentence for her. 

“I won’t tell a soul. _Somebody_ might.” Her head gestured to Haley’s closed door. She had been there since Thea arrived, more than likely hanging around home to see if gossip would be dropped. Do these people not have anything better to do? She didn’t mind telling Emily since she was her friend, but who she was sleeping with was her own business. 

She sighed, shaking her head. “Really isn’t much, honestly. We hang out, try to talk. That’s about it.” 

Emily nodded her head, satisfied with her answer. “That’s fair. Taking it slow isn’t always bad.” 

Thea was going to object with ‘fucking outside the Saloon’ was not exactly taking it slow. Instead she shrugged. “Yeah. We both haven’t been in relationships in a long time. It’s better to be slow rather than rush into something complicated.” 

The more she dwelled on the uncertainty of her relationship, the more she felt uncomfortable. She couldn’t place a finger on it, but something just felt off. 

When in public, they barely talked, barely made eye contact. Almost like he was ashamed of what happened. They acted like a couple of nervous high school kids dating for the first time, too skittish to do anything else but hold hands. But even that was too much for Shane. 

After she was done visiting Emily, Thea would head down to the ranch and talk to him. That was what they needed to do during the few months they weren’t speaking. 

Communication would have patched things up sooner, but not in the way drunken sex does.

She went to scratch her bandage again but stopped herself. Messing around with her injuries would only prolong the healing process. Doc Harvey might not like that. 

“How’s the parrot doing?” Thea asked, eager to change the topic. 

“Oh he’s doing okay! He flaps his wings more often but I think he’s too sore to do any real flying.” Emily slid out of the chair. “Would you like to go see him?” 

“Have you thought of a name for him?” She followed Emily into her room. The parrot was waddling about the room, squawking at the two entering. Among the usual colorful clutter, there were a couple of books about parrots on the floor. Thea was surprised the library even had such books. 

“Not sure yet. Haley wants ‘Squawky’ but I’m stuck between Ringo or Pantaloon.” Her lips were turned into a frown, as if it was a great deal of trouble to name a parrot. 

“Ringo sounds decent. Rupert came to mind but I don’t think that fits him either.” Her finger stroked the side of the parrot’s head. It was shocking how tame he was for growing up in the wild. Perhaps getting headpats and tasty food everyday made him friendly. 

Emily tested the name. “Rupert...Rupert…” Her eyebrows were furrowed in thought. She stared down at the parrot. “Rupert.” 

The parrot made no kind of response. 

“Back to the drawing board.” 

“The library has a baby book. They tend to have unusual names.” Thea had flipped through it and had found her cat’s name. She thought it funny to name a cat such a ridiculous name but pitied the poor kid who was named Caligula. If she ever had children she promised herself to not put her child through the pain of having such a strange name. ‘Dorothea’ was straddling that fence as it was.

Emily somehow had a handful of sunflower seeds and was feeding them to the parrot. Thea glanced down at her watch. 8:00 already? Shoot, it was getting late. 

“Think I should be heading home. Good luck on naming the parrot.”

Emily did not look up. “Thanks for the suggestion. Sorry that Rupert wasn’t a good fit.”

Thea shrugged, walking towards the door. “You’ll come up with something better. See ya later.” 

She was in the living room when Haley opened her room door. They both made eye contact. Sparks of electricity would have appeared if possible. Haley seemed to be waiting for Thea to speak, but she didn’t. She merely waved and went on her way, hearing a scoff behind her as she shut the door. 

Yoba, were people going to shame her for sleeping with Shane? Who cared who she slept with? Maybe she should do something more scandalous so people can focus on that. Like hanging Mayor Lewis’ underwear on the roof of Pierre’s shop. Hilarious idea, but too mean for her taste. 

Shoving her hands in her pockets, she ventured into Cindersap Forest. Everyone was probably at the Saloon by now. Thea promised herself not to show up there for a while. Until the initial embarrassment died down. 

Winter was on the horizon. The chilly air stung her cheeks, reddening them. Any day now Thea would wake up to see a field of snow outside of her window. Snow in the city was something she ignored. It was always pretty when it fell, the pure whiteness covering the sidewalks and skyscrapers in a sheet, but then the snow ploughs would clean them up, leaving behind a mushy pile of grey matter. It sat there, half melted and smelled faintly of asphalt and piss.

Nobody stopped to enjoy snowflakes. They bundled up, eyes peeking out of the scarves wrapped around their faces, trying not to stumble as they made their way to work. 

Rarely she would get a snow day off from working at Joja. If she couldn’t come in, modern technology made it possible to take calls from her tin can apartment. ‘Isn’t that wonderful?’ Thea remembered her old manager saying, handing her a headset on her first snow day. 

She kicked away a stray rock, hoping her memories of the past would skip along with it. Here, in Stardew Valley, time was slow. Time was precious and slow enough to allow Thea to breathe, take in the snowflakes she wished she lingered around to see before. 

Passing Marnie’s ranch and Leah’s little cabin, she went to head up north to her farm when a dot of light caught her attention. It was brief, like a firefly, though now it was far too cold for them to be appearing. There were nothing but crickets chirping an orchestra. 

The light was too far to be shrugged off as merely antics of the Wizard. Curiosity got the best of her, as it always did, and she wandered over. 

The flicker turned out to be a lantern on the dock. And next to the lantern was Shane. 

Thea couldn’t help but smile. She took a step forward, noticing the pack of beer cans next to him. Damn. He beat her to them once again. 

Clearing her throat, she watched him turn around surprised, patting the spot that was free. She sat down with a groan, her feet dangling off the edge of the dock. 

“Busy day?” 

She leaned back on her arms. “Nah. Still a bit sore from my injuries.” 

He sipped from the can. “You’re up late, farmgirl. What’s keeping you up?” 

Thea paused. A heaviness hung on his voice, his tone humble and low. His eyes were forced ahead, as if he had been out here thinking about stuff all day. Prying conversation out of Shane was a difficult task, but eventually she was able to open him up. 

Tonight seemed to be different. It was clear he did not want to talk. 

“I was over at Emily’s. Dropped off some leftover cloth I’d made and talked a bit. Do you know about her parrot?” 

He was confused. “Parrot? I didn’t even know those things came here.” 

“One crashed right into her window a couple weeks ago and broke his wing. She’s been nursing it back to health but I don’t believe he’s going to leave. Not after all the affection she’s given him.” She swung her feet slowly, studying his face. He had no reaction to what she said. Only nodded and continued to stare. 

Thea usually would have pushed for more, either talking about something at the farm, or even daring to bring up how the town has been acting since the fair. She remained silent alongside Shane. 

Wood scraped and her thigh was nudged by a can of beer. “For you. A cold one.” 

She cracked the can open. “Thanks.” 

“You always get me a little something. Figured I’d return the favor.” 

“I believe it was you who bought the whiskey. What happened to it?” 

“Drank it.” 

“Oh.” 

Thea downed the drink in a few seconds. Beer to her was like water. One can wasn’t going to faze her. Whether it was a good thing to have a high tolerance or not, she wasn’t quite sure. Crushing the can like the other ones, she tossed it into the small pile he had created. 

“You drink fast.” Shane pointed out. He was still holding onto his own can. 

She raised an eyebrow. This was new - him worrying over her drinking. “I’m thirsty. Is that a problem?” 

“No. Just a comment.” 

She held back on taking another beer can. Maybe one was enough for tonight. Especially with how Shane was acting, she should hold back. “Guess I’m always thirsty for a drink.”

“You’re a woman after my own heart, farmgirl. You’re just like me.” He realized how flirtatious his words sounded and rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a nervous laugh. “Sorry.” 

“No offense taken. Glad I managed to worm my way into your heart like that.” She laughed along with him, then stopped herself. His expression was solemn, somber eyes and somber lips. He put the beer on the dock, turning towards Thea. 

“You shouldn’t be like me, Thea,” he looked down at the empty beer cans. “Nobody with a future should be like me.” 

“Are you okay, Shane? Did something happen?” Worry began to rise. He never acted like this before. Something had to have happened if he was behaving in this way. 

“I’m fine.” Shane was obviously not fine. “Just been thinking a lot about stuff.” 

“About what?” She pressed further. 

“Just stuff, I guess.” 

A pause. He put down his beer. 

“You’re younger than me.” Shane stated. 

Thea let out a laugh. “Yeah. What about it?” 

“You...you have a future ahead of you still. You’re young, and ambitious. You face things head-on without much thought for how badly it’s going to end up,” He continued. “You can allow failure because you have time. Me?” 

His voice lowered. “I don’t have time on my side anymore. Everything I do. Everything I _want_ to do...I just can’t anymore. No matter what I do, it’s going to fail. I’m always going to be stuck in some miserable abyss and I’m so deep down, I can’t even see the light anymore.” 

“Shane…” Her voice broke, heart heavy and her dizzy head combing thoughts to say something.

He laid back on the dock, letting out a chuckle. “Buh...life.” 

Thea swallowed, uncertain of what to do next. There were times she had offered to lend an ear, allow someone to vent to her and she’d tried to cheer ‘em up with a beer or something nice. What Shane was saying was overwhelming. She knew she could help him, but she couldn’t _help_ him. 

“You still can change. Sure, it’s scary, but that doesn’t mean you are always going to be stuck. Sometimes it’s okay to ask for help.” 

“Maybe. Thanks.” He wasn’t convinced by her words. Slapping the wooden boards, he leaned back up, groaning as he stood up and began to collect the full and empty beer cans. “My liver is telling me to quit tonight.” 

She gathered her own trash, taking a step towards him. The dizziness was really catching up to her. Yeah, it was only one beer, but the more she wobbled, the more she realized that working all day with nothing but a granola bar for lunch was going to have the alcohol go straight to her head. 

He held her with a free hand by shoulder. “Whoa there farmgirl. Don’t want you falling overboard.” 

“Maybe a swim will clear my head.” She kissed his bristled cheek. “Let’s go to the beach sometime.” 

“Kinda cold for a trip to the beach, huh?” 

“Does it matter? It’ll still be nice to go.” 

“Yeeaaaaah, but -.” 

“But what, Shane?” 

His nose rubbed against hers. “What if we went to the Saloon? Really make a show out of it and have them all gossiping.” 

She mulled over it for a moment. That didn't sound like too bad of an idea. Everyone - well to be fair, it was just the gossiping trio - still considered her an outsider. Their weekly aerobic meetings were more like them reporting on what they overheard. 

She wasn’t a full stranger to the Valley but that made no difference to them. They always wanted to know what Farmer Thea was up to next. Sooner or later they’d get bored and bring up Shane. He seemed to be frequently brought up like her. 

“Bit of a masochist, aren’t ya?” She said.

He kissed her forehead. “Isn’t it fun to be gossiped about by everyone?” 

“I’m still new here. Can you at least allow me to build up a good reputation before destroying it?” 

“Mmmmmm, nah.” 

She smirked, pulling away from him. “Well I’m shit out of luck.” 

Shane went ahead of her, both walking apart instead of side by side. He had a shorter distance to go. Thea would have gone on ahead, but she kept herself close. Because of what he said, she wanted to make sure he made it back home. Safe. Even if he was going to drink the rest of the shitty beer in his room, he was safe. 

That is what she liked to think and didn’t want to ponder any further. 

By the time they reached the ranch he had yet to say a farewell. He staggered onto the front step, arm across the door frame with his head resting. “Thea?” 

“Yeah?” She hid her concern. 

“Actually,” he stuck his hand in his khaki pockets, fumbling for his keys. “Have a good night.”

“‘Night, asshole.” 

Thea turned towards the farm. She didn’t want to watch him go. 

He’d be safe. 

Positive thoughts. 

* * *

The next morning Thea was going through her mail. Apparently the whole town really wanted her to be an errand girl and had flooded her with requests. Pam wanted a battery, Caroline wanted strawberries despite being out of season. Sam was wanting some copper despite her dropping off some not that long ago. 

Muttering to herself, she flipped through what she thought was another request, opening the blank envelope once. 

She wondered who exactly delivered the mail in Pelican Town when Shane’s name caught her attention. His handwriting did not match his shabby, hungover appearance. It was neat, clean. Time was spent over every word. 

  
  


_Hey Farmgirl._

_Sorry ‘bout last night. If I worried you, I didn’t mean to. If I didn’t, well, glad you knew I was just talking out of my ass. Y’know how we all can be when we had a little too much. We say and do things we don’t mean, and I did not mean to imply that anything was wrong with me, or that I was going to do anything. I will be okay._

_I found this recipe in a magazine and I thought it sounded interesting. It reminded me of you. Feel free to give me a taste if you make it. (Hehe.)_

_Shane_

On the back of the letter, a recipe for something called ‘Pepper Poppers’ was scrawled. (Was he calling her spicy? Haha.) Gus had them sometimes at the Saloon, but she never tried them for some reason. A slice of pizza and a beer was a better pairing. 

She had some peppers saved from the summer seasons, not really sure what to do with them. Her kitchen was still tiny and cooking anything more than granola bars, loaves of bread, and microwaveable noodles was going to be a challenge. 

Shoving the other letters back in the mailbox to dispose of them later, she studied the recipe. Didn't seem like it was going to wreck her kitchen. She had the peppers, but had no way of making cheese. Nowhere in town to buy it either. Either the traveling merchant had it or she was shit out of luck.

Folding the letter into her overall pocket, Thea shut the mailbox and headed towards Robin’s place.

Might be worth it to finally invest in some new assets for the farm. She always wanted to have her own little cow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big fluffy chapter because we need some fluff. 
> 
> Thank you guys for your patience and your love. I had this chapter sitting around while writing future chapters/plotting but I figured why not publish it early? I want to finish up some other projects yet I find myself wanting to write this story.
> 
> I hope you all have been safe and keeping warm!

There was a small scar left on Thea’s face after her injuries had healed. It was just a short, jagged line on her cheek - nearly unnoticeable, unless you were searching for it. She didn’t like it, fussing that it wasn’t even a _cool_ one, claiming that it was worse than it really was; nonetheless, it became Shane’s favorite place to plant a kiss. A soft, delicate little peck that always filled his chest with a pleasant warmth.

And as they laid together, sweaty and naked in her bed after yet another night of screwing each other senseless, he once again reached over to kiss that special spot.

She smiled as she wiped it off with the back of her hand, huddling close to him. The fireplace crackled, snowflakes gently dancing in the outside air. He felt peaceful. Not happiness, not sadness. A peace that told him things were alright, _for now_. They may fall apart. It was almost a guarantee something bad would happen and he'd be back in the bottomless pit of despair, but he was tired of thinking of the worst.

Right now, all he wanted was to drink up the presence of Thea. Enjoy the ride before it halted to a miserable stop.

Shane rubbed her shoulder as he stared at the diminishing fire. He did _not_ want to stumble out of the cozy bed and throw another log in.

“You wanna go on a date tomorrow?” She also stared at the fireplace, probably thinking the same thing he was. Neither of them wanted to move an inch from the bed.

“A-a date?” He stammered more than he liked. The question was a shot out of nowhere, slapping him in the face, and he was less than prepared for it.

“Yeah.” Thea turned to him. “Well, if going to the Stardrop Saloon together and grabbing drinks constitutes a date.”

“I…” He had to turn away from the intense look she was giving him.

Fuck, he was being bashful. Why was he acting more shy on being asked out on a date than sex? “Yeah. Sounds good.” Shane made his tone very sure, not wanting to sound like he didn’t want to go.

He did - very much. It just meant that this relationship was more real. Not some way to let out steam. There was something; a spark.

“Tomorrow sound good?”

“Erm, yeah! I’ll just meet you there since I have to work.” He sounded breathless. Whether that was due to low stamina, or the fact that he was being asked out for a real date for the first time in a very long while, he was not sure.

Her hand was placed on his chest, petting the hair. “Work been alright?”

He sighed. “Work is work.”

It was shit. Same as any other day.

Since that night at the dock in Cindersap Forest, Thea had become more attentive, for lack of a better word. Always asked how he was feeling and how his day was. And his response of “fine” never wavered. Drinking made him honest. Too honest about himself. And being honest about himself - his current circumstances - was not something he was comfortable sharing with the world, to say the least.

Thea knew more than enough, and she was beginning to become too worried about things. He didn’t want her to start doting on him like his aunt already did.

It’s not like he was unaware of his problems. Bombarding them in his face did nothing other than nudge the guilt out.

Shane felt Thea slide out of bed, leaning his body upwards and giving her bare bottom a hearty smack before she moved too far from the bed. She yelped, turning around with a grin.

“Asshole.”

He laid back into the bed, hands beneath his head. The nickname was a badge of honor. 

She picked up a log and threw it into the fireplace, cinders flying as the wood crackled. Patting the bed, she hurried back into his arms, hands running through his hair once she was laying on top of him.

“I think I’m mildly fond of you,” she declared.

“I would like to think so, because I’ve become mildly fond of you, too, farmgirl.” His hands found their way to her hips. Shane felt himself stiffening just from having her on top of him.

She became aware too, sitting upright on his lap, thighs right in between his growing boner tenting through the blanket.

“Ready for Round Two?”

“Whenever you are.”

The same thoughts returned to him, the same darkness that had to usher itself in and drain any confidence he had.

It lingered in the back of his mind, lurking with the other bleak, untouchable stuff he refused to acknowledge. At this point it was just fucking _annoying_ how repetitive it was. It never ended, only existing to torment him until he rolled over and died.

For now, he had to take his mind off it. Allow himself that happiness he so desperately craved.

The blanket moved, and his skin was exposed to the slight chill. Thea straddled his cock with a sigh. He moaned along with her, hands still on her hips.

She was so beautiful in the firelight, with her hair on her shoulders and looking down at him with heavy, adoring eyes. All this infatuation. All for him.

 _She could do better,_ Shane thought, before letting out a guttural moan as she began to ride him. 

* * *

The following evening he found himself at his usual spot in the Saloon. Tight in the corner, right beside the fireplace, with a cool mug of beer in his hand. It was like he had never left. He took an anxious sip, finding himself rather lost in the growing crowd.

Shane knew it was going to be busy on a Saturday night. He knew the Saloon was going to host every single person in town.

But fuck, tonight was unlike the many nights he spent it in here. His date. He looked down at his clothes.

Maybe he should have stopped by the ranch first and freshened up. There just wasn’t enough time. Thea would have to deal with his disgusting appearance. With his free hand, he smoothed his hair. Yeah, that’ll certainly make him look less of a slob.

He leaned back against the wall with a huff, eyeing his surroundings. Everyone seemed to have a place where they fit perfectly. Leah at her table. Willy up at another table with Clint. Robin and Demetrius dancing not far away. The trio off to the side playing billiards. Pam across the bar from him, lost in a beer like himself. _A fate I would share if I came to the Saloon every night for_ “ _just a cold one_ ” _to relax_ , he once joked to himself many years ago when he first moved to Pelican Town.

Shane didn’t make those kinds of jokes anymore.

Maybe he should sit at the counter. Thea might not want to stand, and it’d feel more like a date if they were sitting. Might be good to get something to eat as well, along with the drink. It’s not the most romantic setting. If he came earlier, he would have stolen a table and pushed out one of the usuals. Just this one time.

The door opened.

Fuck.

He held his breath.

It was just Mayor Lewis, sauntering his way over to Marnie.

Why they didn’t come out to the town that they had been dating for so many years, he would never know. Though, he understood how difficult announcing a relationship to the entire town was. Maybe some already were privy to the notion that something was going on. They acted like how he and Thea did in private. Even now, Shane noticed that Mayor Lewis’s finger was stroking Marnie’s before pulling away.

A sweet, romantic gesture that not many noticed.

He looked away, not wanting to dwell on staring at the couple. It was weird to concern himself about his aunt’s love life.

The door opened once again, and in came Thea.

Part of him was relieved she was in her usual attire. Overalls covered in dust and a baggy shirt that had the sleeves hanging off her arms. Part of him wondered if she owned any dresses. She’d look cute in a nice little sundress. A yellow one, with the hem ending just above the knees.

Some heads perked up at her entrance. Emily gave her a wave, but it seemed that people were mostly leaving her alone. The shiny newness of her arrival was wearing off after nearly a year. They were all used to her by now. 

A stupid, giddy smile on her face, she meandered over to Shane, taking his hand to lure him out of his spot and more into the open. They sat at the counter together, looking over the laminated menu that was always out.

“Is there really a point?” He had to ask.

She didn’t look up from reading. “Point to what?”

“Looking over the menu. Nothing ever changes on it.”

“I just wanted to see the other options for pizza toppings.” She peered up from the menu. “You want to go crazy on the pepperoni?”

He had no objections to such an offer. Pizza was _always_ a great idea. More pepperoni on top? Even better. “Why not? It’s a special night.”

Thea waved Emily to come over and write down their orders. Two beers and a pizza with a ton of pepperoni. She was about to take out her wallet when Shane stopped her, digging around in his hoodie pocket. That, he had an objection to.

“Nah, this is my treat.”

“Shane-“

He counted the right amount of gold and slid it across the counter for Emily to collect. “Too late. Sorry, farmgirl. You gotta be faster than that.”

“Well, thanks.” Thea put her wallet back in her overalls. “How are you doing?”

“Best as I can be on a date.”

“Does it feel weird? To go on a date with me?” Her voice became softer, barely acknowledging Emily with a faint nod when she came by with their beers.

Shane nearly choked on the remnants of his own beer. Where the hell did she get that idea from? He made a casual glance around the Saloon. Nobody was giving them any strange looks. They were all busy minding their own business.

“Of course not!” he assured her. Perhaps he had done something to worry her. If he did, he wasn’t aware. He might be too reserved, but that was just nerves. Dates were strange concepts he barely dabbled in these days. Even back in Zuzu City, his dating game was pathetically weak.

He breathed. “This is new for me.” A lot was new.

“The date?” She cupped her beer, her finger tracing around the rim. _Guess the nerves have gotten to her_ , _too_.

Nodding his head, he shifted the empty mug for a full mug. “Feels weird that someone wants to go out with me.”

“I think whatever we have is pretty weird. We don’t have to define whatever this is yet, but I am enjoying what we are. I just hope that the feelings are mutual on your part, and that you know I do care about you, Shane.”

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then he smirked, hardly believing that Thea had the audacity to believe that he was going to drop her ass and leave for someone else (like he had someone else to run off with. Not like he would dare to do something so ridiculous). Then he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to kiss her on the top of the head.

“Someone in this town needs to watch over your ass,” Shane murmured into her hair. The honey scented shampoo she used drove him wild. He resisted the urge to comb his fingers through her curls and inhale her intoxicating scent.

“Thank you.” There was a croak in her muffled voice. A weak spot in her boisterous persona that stood out unnaturally.

“Yeah. No problem.”

Thea moved away, turning her head for a moment. He saw the redness in her eyes and heard a slight sniffle, but he’d keep quiet about it. She turned back, holding out her glass towards him. “Cheers.”

He did the same, making the move to clink her glass first. “Cheers. Let’s have fun, alright?”

“Okay.” The corners of her lips pulled up ever so slightly. “Sorry, I just -” She stopped herself. “Never mind. Let’s have fun.” Her glass clinked against his, and they both gulped down their beers.

They ended up talking more than drinking. Their conversation ranged from the nonsense of JojaCorp and Zuzu City to the Farm (he’d remembered Marnie mentioning that she came in the other day to purchase a calf) to just whatever was interesting.

Thea opted out on her second drink while he became dizzy on his third. He’d stop though. The pizza was devoured in minutes and Shane had a new grease stain on his polo shirt that he’d later struggle to remove.

“How do you feel about chickens? Usually farmers tend to start out with those first, rather than an entire cow. The waiting time for them to start producing eggs is shorter than waiting for a cow to produce milk.” He picked a pepperoni off the remnants of his final slice and nibbled on it.

“Kinda wanted a cow first. They’re cuter.” Thea shrugged, her words spoken quick enough to raise suspicion.

“Cows? Cuter than chickens?” Shane couldn’t believe it. He supposed that they had to disagree on something eventually, but he’d never imagined it would be on his favorite animal. “Have you ever seen a blue chicken?”

She raised an eyebrow. “A _blue_ chicken? Is that possible?”

“Yes. It’s due to some kind of genetic mutation that they attain that color, but their eggs are the same as any regular chicken’s. Do you wanna see?” He began to reach for his phone, but Thea stopped him.

“I’m okay. I can try to imagine what they look like.” Her fingers fumbled with the rim again.

“What? Do you not like chickens?” He asked with a slight smile.

The uncomfortable look on her face made him drop the smile. She was terrified of chickens. The girl who went into the mines for rare treasures and fought monsters on the daily was terrified of _chickens_.

She stared down at the glass. “They’re kind of freaky. They have those beady little eyes that just stare at you like you’re some strange entity trespassing on their territory, and I hate getting pecked by them. My grandpa had a bunch, and when I’d try to feed them, they would get mad at me for not feeding them fast enough and peck at my shoes.

There was this one chicken named Rosalinda and she was a total bitch. Had only one foot but was still fast as a rabbit. Sometimes she’d chase me around the pen and my grandpa would have to fetch me. Greedy little bastards aren’t worth the trouble.”

Shane admitted to himself that chickens can be bastards. But some were the sweetest little bastards in the world.

“Sorry that you had a bad time with them.”

An idea popped into his head. One day he’d show her the chicken coop at Marnie’s. The chickens she raised tended to have gentle attitudes.

Technically, he didn’t work for his aunt. Sometimes, if he remembered, he’d help out with some basic chores like feeding the chickens or searching for their eggs.

He liked to think it made up for being late with rent sometimes. A way to apologize for the binges. Shane liked how soft their feathers were and how they were tricky little gremlins. Kind of like Thea, but he figured saying that out loud wouldn’t be the best compliment.

“For now I’ll stick with cows. I like cows.”

“What kind did you get from Marnie?”

“She’s a little brown calf. Named her Coffee Bean.”

Shane snorted. How cliche. At least it wasn’t something as bad as “Brownie.” “Too bad she can’t make coffee.”

Thea wasn’t bothered by his response. Instead she smirked. “I was thinking if I got a white cow, I’d name her Cake so they can match. Coffee Bean and Cake. Cute, huh?” She leaned back in her seat, patting her stomach. “If there was any room left I’d eat an entire chocolate cake.”

“Too bad you can’t make any kind of cake without eggs.”

They exchanged glances before Thea shot him a dirty look.

He shrugged. “Don’t get mad at me about the physics of cakes. Not my fault they require eggs to make them.”

“I can buy eggs from Pierre, asshole. _And_ you can certainly make cake without eggs. There are ways.”

“Would that be… any good?” Shane couldn’t imagine it. There probably was a way, he just was behind on the times. The other day, Haley came into JojaMart explaining to him that she was going vegan and got upset that Joja didn’t sell any vegan products. Only vegetarian. As if vegetables weren’t vegan.

“I don’t know. Never tried one,” she muttered.

“Well if you ever attempt such an endeavor, then I wish you all the best.” He clinked her glass once more, finishing his final drink. Part of him was tempted to order a fourth; ride out this wonderful night further, stretching it until the sun began to peek from behind the mountains.

Thea suddenly bolted up and grabbed his hand. “Let’s dance.”

Dance? He stayed in his seat. Dancing was not really his thing. “Uhm, why all of a sudden?”

“I really like this song, and I think it would be romantic.” She leaned in, her lips centimeters away from his. “Besides, didn’t we agree on making a spectacle of ourselves?”

He did. Kind of.

He remembered agreeing to something on that night at the docks, but Shane thought it would be holding hands or making out on one of the benches. Not stumbling around the Saloon like a tipsy jackass.

Still, he followed her lead. He tended to do that a lot; follow her around like some lost puppy. When she slipped her hand into his, he whispered, “I’m not a good dancer.”  
  
“Me neither.”

Inwardly, Shane groaned. Already the eyes were upon them. Sam was going to tease him about this at work tomorrow. Marnie definitely was going to mention it at some point. Dread filled his stomach, the urge to hide only making his cheeks burn more.

Still, he obliged Thea. A hand on her waist, her hand on his shoulder, they began to dance along to the grainy, country-style tune the old jukebox crooned out. Half of the time, Shane kept glancing at the ground to make sure he didn’t step on her boots. The only dance he really knew was the Flower Dance and that was ingrained in him forever.

For a brief moment, he thought about doing that dance. Not now, of course. But when the actual event occurred. If he and Thea lasted that long, that’ll be really nice to do together. Usually Emily would dance with him - probably out of pity. Now someone actually wanted to dance with him. 

Shane spun Thea around in a twirl, bold enough to take her back in his arms and dip her down. She giggled as he brought her back up, and he couldn’t help but snicker.

Happiness flowed through him. It filled the hollowness that was dug out of his heart. Sure, this was only one night. Tomorrow things could change. Things were never certain in life. 

But he allowed that hope to persevere. Shane relished in the wholeness of night. He dared to believe that tomorrow was going to be okay. He’d wake up not hating himself, ready to face the morning. 

Things would be okay. 

At least until tomorrow. He wanted to believe that. 

No, he _did._

The song finished and they stood hand in hand, silently taking each other in. The next song was more upbeat. They didn’t dance again, instead heading back to the bar counter. 

“Thanks for dancing with me, asshole.” Thea said.

Shane laughed. “Anytime, farmgirl.”

**Author's Note:**

> alt name for this chapter: can we pretened that æüorplanes in the nœinght skies are loük shootin' stars?


End file.
